Original Articles

Volga Vikings – by Dr. Zulfiqar Ali

Oh keep the Dog far hence, that’s friend to men

Or with his nails he’ll dig it up again!

(T. S. Eliot. The Burial of the Dead; Wasteland)

“..That this extreme step has been taken in your interest and in the interest of the stability of Pakistan”. That is what our first benevolent dictator said in his first broadcast.

From Ayub Khan to Pervez Musharraf, we always had extremely reluctant and benevolent dictators who could not see the disintegration of this poor country. Also it was for the sake of country that judges ratified those acts.

After Ayub Kahn, Yahya was called upon “to carry out my prime duty of protecting this country from utter destruction” (First Broadcast). He had to come to bring sanity to politics and “could not remain idle spectators of this state of near anarchy”. When those tasks were accomplished, one night of December, super slurry supremo told the sleepless nation that more glory was to come when he would give the new constitution on December 20th.

Then ‘Islam ka Sipahi’ came to our rescue.

He told the nation that when politicians fail, forces cannot just be spectators and he came ‘only and only’ to save the country. His ‘only and only aim’ was to have free and fair elections. He had ‘only reluctantly’ decided last evening, when it became clear that there was not going to be any agreement between government and PNA. It was just coincidence that many weeks before, he had asked ZAB to give special permission and funds to send his family to US for Zain’s treatment. Later he discovered that ignorant nation needed some tweaking by Tick-Tickies. He did his best to serve the country even if thousands of innocent lives had to be sacrificed for the sake of Islam. After all, some price has to be paid to protect the ideological boundaries of citadel of Islam. He tried hard and hard but nation was not willing to give positive results in elections, so had to keep postponing them. It was only for the sake of country that he had to serve till his ascent in skies.

In 1999, Pakistani Ataturk a.k.a., General Musharaff has to step in to save his country. It was a divine mission, so he had to descend from skies. As he rightly said, recently, that one has to decide either to save the country, or constitution. After serving his country, with the help of Mullahs ,for about a decade, elections were held. But ignorant people again voted for the wrong parties.

One can imagine the frustration of real patriots. They had thought that after ZAB, PPP would disintegrate. Jatoi, Kausar Niazi , Ramay , FL (Laghari)and Meraj Khalid were recruited for the sake of country but that did not help much. They tried again by martyring BB. When AZ became president, patriots initially may have had sigh of relief that AZ would be such an easy shikaar. Just few days after he became president, absolute honest Cowasjee told the nation how uneducated AZ was that he did not know how to spell the word “God”. In his column on September 14 2008 he said that AZ had written

““May Gaad (sic) give us the street (sic) to save Pakistan.”


Just to remind that Cowasjee is a habitual plagiarist. His columns about Chinese Admiral Zheng He, obituary of Sam Manek Shaw are well known example. When he was pressured to show the proof about above he came with excuse that he went to Jinnah Mazar and asked the keeper to give him photocopies of entries on Sep 11.He also claimed that pages had been removed later.  How convinient.


Same litany of lies has been continued by establishment media people. Sometimes they told that Bilawal Bhutto was preparing to challenge AZ. Sanam Bhutto was coming to Pakistan and will hold new conference and announce the takeover of party. She came and no such thing happened in few days. Media said that she was under virtual arrest in presidency. Same coterie, which spread the fake story of marriage to Dr Zamani, is quiet about real story of latest marriage of Shahbaz Sharif. For them it was extreme baigharti to praise the beauty of Sarah Palin but NS’s sexual advances towards Kim Barker were fun.

In early 2009, ‘patriotic’ activity accelerated. No doubt handling of Punjab issue was then mismanaged by PPP, but it is obvious that other things like NS, IK march for IC was planned at the behest of establishment. It had already been conveyed to NS and IC etc. that he would be made CJ after Dogar’s retirement. Hamid Mir confirmed this and now we also know via Riaz Malik too. (AZ = Asif Zardari, NS = Nawaz Sharif, IC = Iftikhar Chaudhry, IK = Imran Khan)

During March 2009, many ghairat brigand columnists advised AZ that, for the sake of ‘country’, he should leave the office. Later, Wikileaks revealed that Pasha and Kayani were also discussing the same with US ambassador. It was again same group of journalists who were against the UN investigations of BB’s murder. Again for the sake of country. So many judges of the court, trying the murder suspects, have been changed by Lahore high Court that proceedings are essentially blocked.

When memogate gate fizzled during proceedings, despite contrary report, then IC was launched after Gilani gave statement that Pasha’s visit was without his knowledge and contrary to norms. He was ultimately sent home for his refusal to violate the Constitution.

AZ has proved such a hard nut for them that they do not know how to ‘save the country’. In last few months we are persistently being told by same journalists how military governments have been so successful to alleviate the problems of poor people, and how bad western democracy is for us, and how much we need an honest technocrat government for at least 2-3 years. Other action seems to going on is formation IJI (in the shape of DPC-PTI-JI) like alliance. Just for the sake of country, again.

Volga Vikings had a strange burial ritual. After the death of Chief, one of his slave girls was chosen (volunteered?). For about two three days, she was treated luxuriously, fed best food, attired with the best dress. On the day of burial small chieftains pegged their tents around big tent of chief’s body. She was raped by each one of them till evening. After each rape chief would say,

“Tell the master, I did it only for love of you”

Be it chiefs with robes, or regiments, they always rape and kill the slave democracy for the love of country.

Aaye hai be-kasi e ishq  pe,   rona Ghalib

Kis ke ghar jai ga sailab e bala, mere baad

Just the thought of   helplessness of love makes me cry.

What will this tormenting torrent do? After I am no more!


Dr. Zulfiqar Ali

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  • From your article I should be right in concluding that your AZ is the most patriotic out of all above mentioned patriots by not voluntarily writing a piece of shitty paper to start claim process of our stolen money heaps. Congrats! Your party will be recalled by whole nation in history, with great pride and respect.

    Democracy khappay khappay khappay…