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Priest wanted for BBB – by Junaid Noor

 

The government of Pakistan is desperately looking for a Christian priest to perform the funeral rites of the slain minorities minister, the late Mr. Shahbaz Bhatti.

The government has requested several bishops, cardinals, fathers and even the pope, however, all the Christian clergy believes that Shahbaz Bhatti was a blasphemer, hence, he does not deserve a Nimaaz-e-Jinaaza, correction, funeral. The last such blasphemer was the Satanic Salman who was killed by Muhammad Bin Qasim when he invaded India. To send a warning signal to everyone, the armies of Mehmood Ghaznavi and Muhammad Ghauri have sent warnings to everyone not to lead the funeral prayers of any blasphemer or else…..

Most of the Christian priests are such good Muslims that they want to condemn the blasphemer PPP minister to eternal hell by not offering his Namaaz-e-Jinnaza, I mean funeral. The last Christian priest was the cricketer Yousuf Youhana who converted to Islam and became Maulvi Muhammad Yousuf. Rumors are going on that the government has asked Pundit Danish Kaneria to offer the Nammaz-e-Jinaaza before he too is converted to Islam by mufti Inna-Zam-Zam Haq. But pundit Kaneria is busy practicing spin bowling and has rejected to offer any prayers for blasphemer Bhatti.

The other Christian Bishop, George Fulton, of George Ka Pakistan fame, has already made plans to leave the country.

Mr. Zion Hamid, of the blame-it-on-Yahood-Hunood-fame, has already declared that Shahbaz Bhatti was actually a secret Muslim planning to openly declare his conversion but the Hindu-Zionists Mossad and RAW decided to kill a new wanna-be convert before he could benefit from all the perks and privileges of being a Muslim. According to Zion Hamid, one’s intentions to convert are enough to go to heaven.

However, according to Mr. Amir Zamanat, of the fake-degrees fame, one has to publicly declare his conversion and also undergo the surgical procedure of circumcision to be fully converted and get a visa from the divine embassy to the heavens. Aamir Zamanat did not specify whether the surgical procedure also has to be done publicly and whether the proof of circumcision has to be publicly announced through audio-visual means.

Another scion of the media Mr. Hamara Peer, of the secret tapes fame, has a totally different opinion. According to Mr. Peer, Mr. Bhatti was a minister of the Islamic republic and hence his funeral should not be offered. He is only eligible for a Nimaaz-e-Janaaza. According to Mr. Peer, offering a Christian funeral for a murdered, although blasphemer, Christian minister for minorities is against the territorial and ideological integrity of Pakistan. Hence, Bhatti saheb should be entitled to a Nimaaz-e-Janaaza.

Another famous news anchor of Pakistan, Ms. Talkh Madaari has suggested that Mr. Bhatti’s murder was a conspiracy by Raymond Davis to divert the media attention from his murder case. According to Ms. Madaaari, Raymond Davis used his remote control to send Jewish made drones and attack Mr. Bhatti in I sector of Islamabad. As per Ms. Madaaari, Raymond Davis is a real life Rambo who can control airplanes and drones using his brain waves. Ms. Madaaari has suggested that by now the Bad blasphemer Bhatti must be having a good time with the satanic Salman in hell since both of them were blasphemers and convicted by Federal Shar Pasand Court headed by Chief Justice Maulana Rockety.

Meanwhile the debate on who is going to lead the funeral/Nimaz-e-Janaaza for Mr. Bhatti, rages, the Prime Minister has invited the everyone to apply for the position by sending resumes to an unknown email address. Any one who is interested in leading the funeral prayers for Mr. BBB is encouraged to apply for the position.

About the author

Ahmed Iqbalabadi

2 Comments

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  • Simply Hilarious 🙂
    lolzzz @ “Mr. Zion Hamid, of the blame-it-on-Yahood-Hunood-fame, has already declared that Shahbaz Bhatti was actually a secret Muslim…”

  • Wow, sad.

    Shahbaz Bhatti, may your soul find the comfort, light and serenity that was taken from you on earth.

    I am happy that I know he is well and blessed even though all the Churches have turned their backs on him.

    Amen