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Pyaar for Waar: An ISPR production – by Syed Riaz Malik Hajjaji

waar-1382079369-180-640x480After producing such monumental hits like “International Gorillay” our cinema certainly deserves all the funds that ISPR can spare. I was at a séance the other day and Marlon Brando said that he thinks Shaan Shahid is a way better actor than Brando before he turned five years old. Orson Welles told me that he is ashamed of “Citizen Kane” after seeing “Waar” and I believe Martin Scorcese is fuming with jealousy because his “Mean Streets” and “Good Fellas” just don’t measure up. Unlike “Bol” which never engaged in any sectarian stereotypes, propaganda films like “Born on the Fourth of July” were funded by the anti-Waar lobbies in the United States – you know, the lobbies that want peace and an end to conflict.

Coming back, I agree that “Waar” will provide a new lease of life to ISPR, ooops, Lollywood after such embarrassments as OBL- Abbottabad Hide-and-Seek fiasco. Or The Manama attack that was launched while Deepika Padakune was doing the Waltz with German spy, Chrisopher Waltz, on the roof of the Quaid’s Mazar.

Whenever I see such classics of Shan Shahid and Maomar Rana and Amina Sheikh, I feel that our film industry needs Eternal Life. The sweet scent of Fascism in “Chambeali” is just the kind of elixir that is required by our youth to continue supporting the Good Taliban of Mullah Umar.

It is films like “Waar” that make us appreciate the hard work done by our oppressed and underfunded Pious Patriotic Puttar Fauj – hard work such as Real Estate Development, Corn Flakes Manufacturing and retaking the Bunker at…… the Golf course. These are the achievements that are essential to securing our physical borders – just as ISPR Sahabas in Media and ASWJ are working hard to secure our ideological Borders.

It is films like “Waar” that make us appreciate that our Defense budget should also include a separate accounting head titled “LoL” short for Lollywood. It is such a relief that our Mummy Daddy Burgers have not figured out that our official Defense Budget which stands at 17% does NOT include the amounts set aside for ISI budget, Waar on Terrorism, Pension Plans, Armaments Purchase etc etc etc.

I suggest “Waar 2” should be about patriotic Chartered Accountants (who are PTI supportors of course) who came from modest backgrounds (like the families of Judges, Jenrails and Bureacrats) and who launch a movement to increase Defense Spending. May this gravy train that starts at ISPR and ends at Lollywood continue.

Meanwhile Agent Nana Patekar is busy recruiting NGO workers to seduce the Incorruptible Burgers of PTI so that the Dam is well…. damned.

To my Mummy Daddy Burger Revolutionaries I say, it is time that you came out of DHA homes and visited the latest Multiplex to watch “Waar” again and again. Please listen to the twitter entreaties of NGO icons who are promoting “Waar” as the last hope for the revival of the Golden Age of Pakistani cinema that was ushered in by Shaan Shahid, Maomar Rana, Javed Sheikh and Amina Sheikh.
Hollywood, Bollywood and Good-Golly-Miss-Molly (the German film industry) also produces movies that can be labeled as “Propaganda” -which is not to say that “Waar” is propaganda. Just saying you know. Hollywood films like “Platoon”, “Apolcalypse Now” etc are classic propaganda films that have no where near the acting talent that is present in “Waar”. Just recently, Pakistan also released a propaganda film called “Zinda Bhaag”.
Unlike “Waar”, it is films like “Zinda Bhaag” that are full of liberal fascist propaganda. It is films like “Zinda Bhaag” that malign the Ghairatmand Pakistan of Hazrat Imran Khan, GEO and Chacha Morpheus (aka General Hamid Gul).
First of all, unlike “Waar” , “Zinda Bhaag” is made in Punjabi – a language that is alien to Pakistan.
Unlike “Waar” “ZB” lacks authenticity or a credible plot.
I mean, who ever heard of young people migrating from Pakistan???
“Waar” is full of authentic masterpiece scenes that will send waves of panic into Hollywood, Bollywood and Gollywood and announce to the World (of Ghairat) that Pakistani Army, oops, Pakistani Cinema has arrived and is here to stay!
Please ignore that liberal fascist voice inside your head that is telling you that “Waar” is made from your tax money in the first place so why should you be paying for it.

If this voice gets louder, please refer to tweets by Good Liberal in support of “Waar”






Sharmeen Obaid ‏@sharmeenochinoy 17 Oct

#waar has cliches but so do Indian movies v go 2 c- whether you like the film or not, watch it for the sake of supporting local talent

 Sharmeen Obaid ‏@sharmeenochinoy 17 Oct

Grab your tickets- the film is definitely worth watching! We must support local cinema #waar

 Sharmeen Obaid ‏@sharmeenochinoy 17 Oct

Watched #Waar…Entertaining film- wish it had been in Urdu instead of English- its strong message would have resonated more with ppl

Or better yet, refer to this excellently argued article in ET:

“If a liberal outfit was to pump as many millions into a movie where Baloch rebels storm parliament, repeal the Objectives Resolution, reintroduce Comparative Religion class to LGS 55-Main, and climax in a Mexican standoff with Maya Khan … chances are we’d watch that too. The point is the film industry should breathe again, and that local talent find a reason to stay local.”

It is precisely this flippant style that is required to flip off the liberal fascists. We all know that unlike ISPR, the liberal fascists of Pakistan are awash in dollars and how Bader Meinhoff agents like Peter Heisenberg aka Pervaiz Hoodbhoy enjoy an unchallenged hegemony in our media.

Echoing this article in ET, all Ghairatmands must emphasize this “So what if ISPR funded “Waar”. So what if army also probably funds and influences think tanks like Jinnah Institute. So what if oppressed and underfunded fauj also influences media. Does that mean that the Pro Taliban message that comes out from army backed think tanks and media should just be ignored or that it lacks credibility.

If I own the bakery and the town crier who promotes it, does that mean that my bread is not baked?

I don’t know but is my mind baked?  I don’t know. But this proves my point that if “Waar” is baked in Aabpara, then we must support it further with our Tax-deducted rupees.

ISPR needs to recoup its investments.  Golfing and Media management are not for free.

About the author


Ali Abbas Taj is the Editor of Let Us Build Pakistan.
@aliabbastaj on Twitter


Click here to post a comment
  • relax buddy….! just take it as another movie , after all you watch all the craps from Bollywood right…?

  • wasted my time reading this shit ,oops proof that movie is funded by ispr or isi…..
    website is run by indian agents, oops mentioned the name

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