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Urgent conference call of Pakistan’s fake liberals

Fake liberals

 

Editors Note: We should all appreciate criticism and humor.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Twitterati. I welcome you to this immensely important, nay, urgent Conference Call. We must find out who is Saroor Ijaz.

JammyHuck:  If Saroor Ijaz turns out to be a Pashtoon from Peshawar with an immaculate taste in Music, it will be very awkward. It can force me to change my mind about him. The possibility that he is a hunk Pakhtun like Imran Khan is already making me like him.
Qadeem F. Paratha: The war in Afghanistan has resulted in an increase in the price of some goodies. Let me finish my last regret joint.
Omar Oreo Cookie: BeSuroor was rejected by Dawn. BeSuroor suffers from MacDonald Triad. I certainly do not mean McDondalds and not casting any aspersion on Sir Bilal Billionair-Kahani.
Sana Bin Salim: Remember. He always attacks liberals. Beena Aapa’s words are so true about him. He is so divisive. We are so important Deep State has mobilized all of its resources to malign us the genuine liberals on Twitter. It really gets one’s goat.
Raza Roomanvi: It is a fake account. It must be a male. It must be a Sunni Sufi who is best friends with a Deobandi cleric too. It must be a Punjabi from Lahore. Wait. It sounds like me. Let me start again. Hail Tahir ul Ashrafi.
Ali K Chishti: Just finished speaking to IB Chief along with SIU,CID confirmed that Saroor Ijaz is a Twitter terrorist. I can get the IP tracked but he must be using several fake proxies. It can be like tracing ANP terrorists in Sohrab Goth and Baldia Town. I will file a case against him in Ferozepur Thana, once again. Hail Ludhianvi.
KaalaKawa: Am I the only one who is finding Saroor Ijaz painfully unfunny? Why are you talking about him and giving so much importance to him, and not me. I am not a fake account.
Marvi Akram Lahorvi: I concur. I am also not a fake account. Akram the Bob is not my uncle.
Samad Kurram Jhangvi:  Where was Saroor Ijaz when Salmaan Taseer was killed? My Question is why wasn’t he on Twitter expressing outrage at that time. At least he could have assisted me in publishing private family pictures of Taseer on pkpolitics, Teeth etc. He appears to be a lone ranger.
Farrukh Khan Pitafi: I have been trying to call Mighty but his phone is busy. Talking on the phone while tweeting simultaneously certainly leaves a clue.
{{{ Mighty cannot talk. He is very very busy taking pictures of food through InstraGram on his new HTC Desire}}}
Mehr Tarar: I cannot be bothered with who is Saroor Ijaz when I am busy having a moment of tearful shame of being a Muslim behind my Bvlgari sunglasses.I am certainly afraid he Might start attacking me. Let me send him a diplomatic tweet.
Zarar Khuhro: Saroor Ijaz is like a villainous comic character, dark and black and beautiful. I am sorry I take my words back. Who the F is he. Outraged.
Qadeem F. Paratha: In the 70s, when I was a student at Karachi University, goods were cheap and revolution was easy. Jamat-e-Islami goons had shorter beards at that time.
Wes Malik: I like his tweets. But sometimes they give my head a little pain.
Musharraf Zaidi: Sherry Rehman is the best diplomat who has ever set foot in Washington. I am happy for Afghanistan.
Omar Oreo Cookie: Sire, we are here to find out who is BeSuroor. He was rejected by DAWN.
Mosharraf Zaidi: Sorry- and thanks for correcting me. As I was saying, let us commend the brave officers of Pakistani foreign office. { Conference call line drops }
Glycerin ZaharAlood Malik: I have an insider quote about who is Saroor Ijaz. But you will have to read it in my Wednesday column.
Raza Roomanvi: I think we are all being tapped. Someone is listening to us. Hang up. Hang up. Damn You.
Lines drop.

Adapted with some changes from Saroorified

Source : http://freespeechpakistan.wordpress.com/2013/02/09/conference-call-fake-liberals/